It is with an almost soul-destroying inevitability that the novel we can’t help but have our say about and, dare I say, read, is going to make it’s author an even greater shed-load of questionably earned cash. Of course, ’50 Shades of Grey’ is going to follow virtually every best-selling novel this side of the War and make it’s way onto the silver screen.
What this particular filthy book has over hundreds of others just like it is somewhat of a mystery, especially given the hap-hazard approach to the ‘writing’ and ‘plot’ creation of the ‘story’. Perhaps the discrete nature of new toys such as the Kindle has allowed closet readers to get their fix on the tube without as much as a sideways glance. Anyway, these are all debates that have raged between fan and anti-fan over the past few months and opinions have been formed.
It is obviously far more exciting for us to speculate over who may play whom in the would-be motion picture and what precisely will be its content. I was drawn to this debate having seen a ‘friend’s’ Facebook status referring me to this article. It throws a few names into the hat for the role of the leading female character, Anastasia Steele. The article appears fairly convinced that Emma Watson (Hermione) is the favourite to play the college-girl-turned [insert appropriate phrase of choice here].
For this would probably be one of the greatest role-reversals in cinematic history by one of its most haplessly typecast. Having enjoyed playing a number of rather uninspiring bit-part roles in various productions since the finale of the all conquering Harry Potter series; geeky little Hermione seems to be making a fist of becoming a new woman.
But does this all seem a little too convenient? Is this another purely media-fabricated rumour? Why would one of the most wealthy and famous young women on the planet go near making what is likely to be the first mainstream, commercial pornographic movie? This all on top of being idolised by millions of young and not-so-young-anymore people for playing one of the most loveable, innocent and well-behaved characters of our time. She doesn’t need the fame nor the cash. It’s not going to prove her acting ability to anyone nor will it win her any awards – like the book itself; it will be created with dollar signs written all over it. What has this clearly very talented, good-looking young actress got to prove to anyone? We already know she’s very capable of having her hair cut off.
So, Emma, I’m hoping that you aren’t seriously considering playing the role of Anastasia Steele, but if you are, I’m expecting a damn good explanation. If it’s the money – I’m sure us fans could chip in a few quid each and raise a good £10million for you not to play this role. It would be worth it just to preserve Hermione in our mind’s eye – we don’t want to see her getting up to those kind of shenanigans. This decision could well emotionally scar millions of innocent and loyal muggle fans. On your head be it.